The Pelican Brief by John Grisham

THE PELICAN BRIEF opens well — with the murders of two Supreme Court justices by legendary terrorist Khamel — in one night.

One, Abraham Rosenberg, was a ninety-one year old hardhead who, we’re told, was hated by everybody left and right, though it’s not clear why the leftwingers hate Rosenberg. Grisham makes it obvious that Rosenberg considers himself a protector of the oppressed. He wants to retire but has been waiting for a Democratic president so he won’t be replaced by an evil Republican justice.

The second dead justice is more interesting — Justice Glenn Jensen is found strangled in a gay porn theater. He was appointed by a Republican president, and Grisham delights in the irony of how he betrayed his evil supporters (who didn’t know he was secretly leading a gay double life) by changing into a liberal justice once he took office.

In Grisham’s books Republicans are either stupid or smart and evil. The Republican president falls into the first category. His Chief of Staff Fletcher Coal into the second.

The first of the good guys is Thomas Callahan, a hard-drinking law professor who likes to sleep with his beautiful students. If he were a bad guy, this trait would be portrayed as politically incorrect and an abuse of his power, authority and position as a professor.

Because Grisham wants us to like Professor Callahan and to feel anger at his death, he ignores this issue. It’s okay because now the beautiful student is Darby Shaw and she’s the true hero.

Darby eludes her pursuers while managing to fit together the pieces of the puzzle as to why and by whom the Supreme Court justices and her professor-lover were killed — and why somebody wants her dead too.

Along the way she’s helped by an old friend of Callahan’s now working for the FBI, Gavin Verheek, as well as a lawyer using only the name “Gracia” to blow the whistle on his evil law firm White and Blazevich.

Yet her best friend his Gray Grantham, ace investigative reporter.

Because if and when the truth of the Pelican brief is revealed, the publicity will hurt Republicans, Grantham is a hero. Just like Woodward and Bernstein with Watergate.

I have to admit that any novel that makes readers feel sympathetic toward (some) lawyers and a reporter is written with a great deal of skill.

Unfortunately, Grisham lacks credibility when the real villain is revealed. Of course, being the evil capitalist in charge of an evil oil company who wants to destroy the environment to kill pelicans, he is a friend of Republicans including the president. So the president’s evil Chief of Staff sends a representative (Matthew Barr) to meet with Victor Mattiece to tell him to stop killing people so that they’ll all be safe from bad publicity.

Mattiece is in hiding in an isolated island paradise, keeping himself away from the world and germs just as Howard Hughes did. In fact, Grisham so obviously copied Howard Hughes’ germ phobia that this scene lacks all power — even when a Mattiece henchman kills Barr.

Why? It’s not clear. Barr was representing the president of the United States, Mattiece’s “friend.” What did Mattiece gain that was worth the additional risk? Grisham doesn’t spell that out. I suspect he just wanted to convince us Mattiece was crazy.

After all, he’s one of those too-greedy rich people who want to kill pelicans for the sheer fun of being evil.

As a suspense novel it does work well. Unless you’re one of those evil Republicans you’ll find yourself pulling for Darby Shaw.

(Though you may wonder why such a smart woman ever fell for a jerk like Professor Callaham to begin with — but never mind, feminists only point things out like that about evil Republicans, not good liberal law professors.)

At the end the mainstream media has lots of evil Republican blood to feast on, so all’s well.

The Pelican Brief by John Grisham