An Unquenchable Thirst: Following Mother Teresa in Search of an Authentic Life by Mary Johnson

Mother Teresa is such an intriguing and mystifying figure who suffered with self-doubts, as revealed in recent books, so the idea of finding out more about her from a sister of her Missionaries of Charity is appealing. The book was not disappointing, as Mother Teresa is seen as perhaps a more real person than in other books. She is not diminished in this view; she only seems more larger than life and holy.

This book, however, also provides a critical look at Mother Teresa’s order, showing the hypocrisy, at times, and the warts in what is, after all, an institution run by the flawed, but wonderful, people. The view presented is insightful as the author worked in that environment for over twenty years. I admired Johnson’s ability to thrive, despite and because of her faults and strengths. She made the story powerful without whitewashing the negatives or dismissing the positives. Despite her choice to leave the nuns and her vows, she never waivers in her belief in Mother Teresa. The power of Mother Teresa continues.

This is a good story, told well. We view the community of sisters as if we were there ourselves, experiencing the highs and lows. The fact that the low points finally won out was sad, yet well established throughout Johnson’s tale. It is not a surprise that she decides to leave. That life is not for everyone; a person must be exceptionally strong to withstand the demands.

We get another view of the suffering that we all know Mother Teresa experienced, but we also see the struggles that all of the nuns of the Missionaries of Charity endured in physical pain and in the loneliness. There is so much more that can be said in relation to why suffering seems to be so prominent in the Church. If life is about suffering, isn’t it also about joy? One doesn’t get the sense of balance in this story of either the individual sisters or Mother Teresa herself.

Another concept that stands out for me is that Johnson wanted to be an individual, with fewer and less strict “Rules,” the main reason, it seems, that she left the church. What was very understandable and made her story empathetic to many of us is her statement, “I longed to be noticed, appreciated, approved.” Wow, that is so true of so many. The honesty in that statement is what brings readers to Johnson’s story. In many ways, it is the story of all of us, especially women. Not wanting to be diminished, we still strive to help others achieve and, too often, lose a part of ourselves in doing so. One need not take the vows of a religious to experience the loss of individuality. We applaud Johnson’s struggle to find her own voice. I wish she could have done it within the Missionaries, but she shows the impossibility of that for her.

Without revealing the ending, although the reader knows from the beginning that she leaves the order, I was disappointed, not with the book but with her final choice. That is a discussion, however, for another time or place. There is much to ponder in this memoir for readers of all religious choices. What we share in life is much more obvious that which separates us; Johnson succeeds in conveying that.

An Unquenchable Thirst: Following Mother Teresa in Search of an Authentic Life by Mary Johnson